Sunday, January 2, 2011

She walks beside me like a moon does in a lonely night

She walks beside me naked like a moon does when one walks in a lonely night. But her lights are clouded. My vision are nothing less enveloped in a shadow of past. My muscles are tired. They think it’s tedious and unexciting to move with shoe full of gravels. They give up too easily. I try in vain to speak up with myself that if the gravels hurt the feet, one must trod even without shoes, because the harder you try, lesser you cry. And then there won’t be a space to shelter the hard toiling and the rough path. Sometimes in life, we are bound to fall victim to certain unclear confusion. Lucky are the ones who do not end up having fallen to the greatest and deepest that one never gets a chance to redeem oneself. Past shadows ever after us, they never ceases tailing us.
There are many opportunities men are provided with to walk never looking back. We are awaited with lots of promising cards. Trust your end you see ahead or regret the end you passed through, I am perplexed and inert on the path. Several times, things proved to be a mere mirage. I repented my decisions then. I don’t want to make a habit of my rash instincts. It bled many times, and now I fear looking ahead, not that I don’t trust my own heart and mind, but I want to look carefully at my past and move forward.
Many a times in the past, I tried an attempt to forget the faded pictures. Past is something that didn’t last, I used to try pursuing myself to let go the things of past. But it was difficult when she was someone I had truly loved. It was difficult when it was a dream that I was building on ever since I had known the essence of knowing the destiny. It was difficult when he was the one friend who I trusted above anyone. It was difficult when you would have left someone with pain, and something dismantled. It was never easy, and the guilt has been nothing but an extra shadow to close the light. And all that I see is my life being tugged here and there but without any specific destiny. The ship hasn’t been able to sail the direction I would be pleased with.
Today, I have a present and my past walks naked beside me like a moon does when one walks in a lonely night. Tomorrow, I don’t want the shadow of today’s deeds haunt me with guilt and fear. I hope, that tomorrow will be the day I stand tall and proud, the day I represent a better past and a hopeful future.
With all that gone and coming, I wish make a good thing out my present.

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