Thursday, March 3, 2011

Pawn in the game of life.


All the long, he followed the path not knowing where it leads and he still follows it.
Like a chessboard, with one move, a pawn being capable of throwing a big iron hammer on king’s throne leaves nothing more striking than to assume our lives in accentuation with it. There is surprise, and there are so many ‘next thing’ from the other. I was born with a big surprise to everyone, in a public bus. Only god knows at how many ends of curses and of course sweet words I would have been even before my parents could actually kiss me.
I heard from my late Grandpa so many times how I almost succumbed to death with no proper clothes and food. He carried me inside his big pocket (hemchung of Gho) while Grandma stood beside my ailing mother. And even before I could thank him for everything he did that which is worth more than my life, he passed away. Sometimes, I wish if only our life comes with for-seen moves.
You can sometimes give a check very early if there are any leaks at any spots. You give check in chess to make one’s game more vigilant and of course to conquer the king and eventually a game, but life gives a check that which is capable of changing your whole life for once and all, or sometimes some are not even fortunate enough to be able to get second chance.I almost had the end of my life when I toppled down the hill into the scratchy stream with a tractor. For a five year child, the tractor parked over the hilly road didn’t make any difference of fear or understanding of it being a killing machine if toyed with it. All that excited me was sitting on the driver’s couch and next thing that followed was a tractor moving without the driver down the hill with me still on the steering. My Dad jumped along with the tractor, and picked me up with a big wheel of tractor rotating over my head. I would have been killed, and my Dad would have been too. BUT GOD? I still remember how Grandpa who was inside the room reciting prayer came out shouting at the people gathered around the scene. I was too naïve to actually fit into the circumstances. The fear within me conquered fully, and I broke down along with my terrified parents.
Next thing that followed was me and my Dad being summoned in the court. I don’t remember anything from that scene, but all that I know is that I was relieved of any guilt.
Law stated I was too young to be convicted of causing accident and damage to other’s property, but the guilt still lingers within me. I can never be relieved of the fact that within five years of my birth, I have caused terrible problems to the people around me. It still scares me to think of it, and makes me terribly sad when I imagine what could I have probably been to my parents, to the owner of the vehicle and to my grandpa? I continued to shock the people around me. Terror barged into my parent’s life with me, but they survived, and were thankful to God for saving my life while I still question God for playing the game with my life of which only He knows the rules.
I was immediately taken to the village by Grandpa. But the life has its drama incomplete for that particular episode. I was admitted into a boarding school faraway from my Grandpa and I almost got drowned before I got sick for many weeks. Before I could bring the situation in my consciousness, I was once again with my parents. And in 1997, exactly three years after I left my Grandpa for my parent’s place, I landed up handicapped in a rotten carcass of bicycle. I jammed up myself into it with a broken hand. Whenever my Dad is not so sober or emotionally down, he always accuses me of being responsible for my own destruction of a precious life. I know he must be feeling responsible though for all these things in my life which makes me nothing less sad than making my parents feel responsible for something nasty I ended up doing or committing. God has designed my life in many ways he desired, and I don’t know HOW MANY MORE HE WANTS TO?
But however, amidst all these ups and downs, my life also had s many wonderful things. If I was all the source of sadness to my parents, I had also been in few occasions a source of happiness and pride for them and of course for my late Grandpa.
I thank God for that, but it doesn’t make me more a person who could take Him for granted. He’s capable of many surprises and moves.
And all that I can do is be a part of the drama and go on being a pawn in His game.

5 comments:

  1. Hey Mr. S.
    Gave a the Stylish Blogger Award. I had five more to give.

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  2. Your blog is great
    If you like, come back and visit mine: http://b2322858.blogspot.com/

    Thank you!!Wang Han Pin(王翰彬)
    From Taichung,Taiwan(台灣)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shalom Aleichem (Peace upon you)

    I read with care his impressions of life.
    -- Do not be haunting by his past. Look to the future.

    In Judaism, life is valued above almost all else., and almost any commandment can be violated to save a life. The Talmud notes that all people are descended from a single person, thus, taking a single life is like destroying an entire world, and saving a single life is like saving an entire world.

    Human Nature:
    Humanity is in the image of G-d, in that we have the ability to think, reason and understand. Humanity was created with a dual nature: an impulse to do what is right an a selfish (evil) impulse. Free will is the ability to choose which impulse to follow.

    People have the ability to choose which impulse to follow: the 'yetzer tov' (good impulse) or the 'yetzer ra' (evil impulse). That is the heart of the Jewish understanding of free will. The 'Talmud' notes that all people are descended from Adam, so no one can blame his own wickedness on his ancestry. On the contrary, we all have the ability to make our own choices, and we will all be held responsible for the choices we make.

    Well, I think everything is possible. Why not try to do all this in the present life? Freedom of choice is a gift. Choosing to be happy is the main 'business' of our lives.

    I loved your post. Thank you for sharing with me.

    May your days be sweets like honey.

    Adelle 'Isha Shiri"

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  4. Hi Sogyel....this is a great post. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

    As for sharing my blog post on your facebook group, its okay. Many of my writing friends on facebook too share it. I will check out your group. Thanks for sharing it.

    On another note don't forget to tune in on my blog on 25th and 29th March for my first anniversary contest, two guest posts and a chance to win two copies of a writing craft book called The Storybook (that helps us in improving our stories and ideas.)The book is really a must read for us (writers).

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  5. Thank you Rachna...your words are too kind..it makes me smile...:)

    And thank you for being okie with me sharing your article.

    Yeah Surely..i will visit your blog on the asked dates...:)

    ReplyDelete