Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Throughout the darkness, i was thinking

“Light went off”, I was talking in a phone with my friend.
“Oh! Your shitty hostel”, the reply ended with laughter.
“Who are you talking to?” this time it was my friend (not the one on the phone). He was lying down on my bed, just having a casual visit to my room.
“Oh! I am on a phone with a girl”, I replied in darkness.
I was feeling bit uneasy to have a conversation with a girl in front of him, so I went outside on the terrace and was talking there. We talked about so many things and I returned to my room.  There was a complete darkness. And the silence and a fear commanded my consciousness.  Let me tell you, I am no good in darkness. It scares shit out of me. I always avoid watching horror movies. I basically never believe in even imagining the worst possibilities and fatalities coupled with human life. The dark as night was, my fear over ruled my little bravery left in me. Of course the noise and shouting people made outside the square of which my room was nearby was full of people buzzing and talking in darkness. I silently put down myself on my bed. He was still there but fast asleep. Until the light comes back, he would be resting in my room, so I was happy and have an easy feeling of being in a dark room with my friend.
There’s something so bizarre about me. Though I don’t like imagining fearful things which we even doubt about their existence, I always go on thinking about some ghost in a toilet while attending the call of nature or I expect someone so fearful to come out behind the wall and wipe up me out of the earth I am standing on.  I sometimes avoid it by trying to think something nicer, something beautiful about life or someone I like. There’s so much an effort in trying to replace the virtual image that I go on thinking about.
So here I was thinking again. I was thinking what if it’s not my friend who is sleeping beside me? What if my friend left my room while I was talking in a phone outside? What if I am lying beside one of the kind of ghosts I have been imagining so far?
I was getting to sink in the frightful sea of fear of which I am the creator and I don’t have anyone nearby on whom I can cling to safe myself from getting drowned. There was deep silence, and all the noises didn’t make any noise, I was totally enveloped into my own blunt ideas and worst thoughts.
“I got so many works to do. This light is making me worried”, the noise woke me up from my imagination. Finally I got someone to save me from getting drowned in my own imaginary sea. I dreaded so much to have lost in what people called as over thinking and getting closed up into your own virtual world. “But wait! Did he sound familiar?” I was thinking hard with some sense of unclear thoughts.  “What? Can’t be? Then who is this person lying down on my bed?” It was terrifying to hear the voice of my friend who was lying on my bed before I left my room outside. It frightened me more to know who the person is lying beside me right now then. My thoughts seemed all intended for by some unknown special power. I felt like I was always true about things which I would dream about and i was virtually shivering from within at the mercy of fearful night.
I couldn’t reply him, and my voice started to tremble. The whole body felt under the shear numbness.  The darkness, and the silence, now punished me harder. Without even speaking a word, I made an attempt to stand. He didn’t seem to be bothered. The quavering of the moments never disturbed him though, and that was a little help in times of utter desperation.
“What? Where are you going?”
“Someone’s sleeping there on my bed”, I took a deep sigh, continued “I was thinking it was you”
Before we could finish our conversation, the light came on. And to my utter horror show which I had all through the darkness, it was one of my friends. He came to talk with me, and while I was not there in the room, he slept off.
By the way, this story is not real, it’s another kind of my own imagination, which I don’t know what to call, but you are welcome to call it in anyways you like to…:)
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