Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"Wat is a chance 4 me if I like u?.... :) ”

Fiddling with the mobile for some hours now. Had enough of it. Had enough of making my mind to ask her. It was disturbing, yet it was making me feel special. It was getting through all my nerves. I wished so much that my nerves donot end up sending messages to my heart. But it was a special feeling: one that couldn’t be resisting to not to follow my heart. I was ready to ignore the fact that I hardly know her: just one proper outing and a casual meeting. But the love was in the air. I was breathing it.  It’s happening again. It was undeniable. There was nothing that I could rationalize myself to not to fall for her. She appeared so open and independent woman. I always hoped that I meet someone who respects her own choices so much and lives fully to enjoy those preferences while she doesn’t rule out the knowledge of other person’s choices she is dealing with. I have always liked someone who is smart. She seems to have all.
Love is actually very strange. It doesn’t leave you out even from liking someone you hardly knows. It sometimes makes you realize after knowing eachother for decades or so. It happens. I had these strange feelings. It’s of course a different thing about how I happened to meet her. She was wearing that white frock with black spots over it. It was something so coincidental that we knew eachother quite rightly after making a rendezvous. I never thought that it would drag me to become a servant of my feelings for her. Until she understands and takes as my love for her, these feelings do not really stand as an independent-meaningful one. They are just a crap that could be coming right at my face, if at all she doesn’t take things along my line. Well, as of now while I write these thoughts of mine which could rather be understood as my love for her, I lovingly hope that there will be a pleasant fragrance of germination of love if not a very good friendship. The exchange of gifts. Well, I was, not just little but mostly, dumb. I didn’t have anything to gift her back as a return gift for her gift. That was the time when I thought, I should invite her for a dinner. Since she was in a hurry to leave for her home right in the early next morning, I called after we departed that we should have a dinner or so.
The rain. Thimphu was raining like cats and dogs, and I was loving every bit of it. Rain makes things appear more romantic. And to add to the brewing romanticism happening in and around me, she was drenched with drizzling.
I could have asked nothing more than that. God, her hairs look more beautiful when they are wet. Of course she was little uneasy to contain to the very context of surroundings and the natural disturbances. The time didn’t really permit so, she has to rush back soon to give her younger brother a company to meal his favorite dish. It was almost an empty restaurant. The Chopsticks was not so busy. We had a cup of coffee each.  In most of the romantic evenings, people always end up taking a girl for a coffee or a tea. I sounded like one to myself. We had a conversation, a conversation that appeared like she was a complete package of my likes and choices. The movies, actors, books, people, and so many things I could relate myself with her. How could a coincidence bring two people with almost same choices together? But I had an answer. It was a universal conspiracy. If there is something you desire so much and you try too much to get that, universal conspiracy takes you there.
I met her once again after almost a month. It was very momentary. The glimpse and the greetings. I wish her a good luck in her studies and so on. I wished that I could have asked her since then that I developed a certain immeasurable amount of love for her during the period where we used to exchange few messages through mobile. I couldn’t dare. I couldn’t dare because I was making myself sure about the love that I am grooming inside my heart for her. And of course, to add to the Universal Conspiracy, I was seriously ill. I couldn't stop cursing my ill-fate.
And today, I sent her a message that “ Wat is a chance 4 me if I like u?.... :)”

Photo courtesy http://4.bp.blogspot.com