Wednesday, May 18, 2011

School Experience: One fateful afternoon, in chemistry class

Forgiveness, has a strong power. It gives sinner a chance to redeem himself at the love of forgiver.
In Zhemgang, during class 12, chemistry teacher, who happened to be my class teacher during our casual chit-chat outside the classroom asked me and few of my friends about how is his teaching doing well with us. It didn’t really seem so serious when I and another friend suggested him of pacing up the classes. You see, there are more than 30 chapters in chemistry and the book 3 cm thick with so many calculations; it wasn’t any good to be able to complete one or two chapters in a month. And the fact that you are in class twelve where you have to give board examination, things couldn’t be any bad than having not finished the syllabus before trail exam. Chemistry in the brain and heart that time wasn’t really be an encouraging equation to bring out the result.
Here he is in the class, with one month to go for the final exam, he’s completed the syllabus, that too, with very good outcome. And in the class, he made no animosity of keeping me and my friend’s words as forgotten concerns. Time and again, sir would in the class make remarks like, people like “Tobgay and X” are very much worried that we won’t be able to finish  our syllabus. We always took it light, until, that afternoon where I stood up in the middle of his lecture and started to ask him about “What is my problem with you, sir?”….”You have taken it so seriously, not once, not twice, you goes on making fun of the suggestions we offered when you came seeking..” And with the sleeves of my gho folded right up to the arm (Well, its not what you are thinking of, and its definitely not that I appeared so much ready to fight with him. I always sat in the class with my laggaes folded right into my sleeves, it kind of kept my laggaes clean for a week long), things didn’t really go well in front of the other students around.
“Are you so esteemed not to be even resisting this much criticism?” He went on and on, I was confused, scared, and angry that I didn’t really hear what he shouted at me. His face has turned red, and after few minutes of silence, he left the classroom. I didn’t really notice my friend’s shocked expressions as if to ask me, “What the hell, Dude?”
Whatever happened in the class, I felt bad afterward, it didn’t really show anything so good for my open confrontation in the class. It didn’t really justify anything. I was at the end of everything wrong about it. Sir stopped coming to the classes and when it was the time for the discussion and solving questions of previous year papers, it didn’t really go well with my friends and myself.
Class was empty as usual with the dark silence. I didn’t take much time to decide on what should I do. I checked in the teachers’ common-room, it was empty. Inside the chemistry lab, sir stood  reading something. Well, what happened in the room could have been the best thing, but I would rather sum it up and do not stretch this thing. The best thing that i still keep in my mind is what he said to me at the end my emotional apology, “If i don’t forgive you, who would?” It touched me deeply, and I think there’s so much a deep sense in his words. My whole tension and a heavy heart with burdened guilt finally made me feel light and warm. Sir started coming to the class that period only.
After I qualified for scholarship with good marks in Maths and Chemistry, I called my sir, in India (he left the school for some job in India).
It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger person to forgive-Unknown.